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Dear Claire, My eldest sister is so afraid of dying and so now has serious health issues that are causing her pain and grief.
She has no faith and has sunk deeply into grief and despair so much so that myself and other family members are unable to reach her and help her.
I am her youngest sister and have been trying to carry the load of being her main support but now even I cannot reach her.
She is so sad and withdrawn and is so ill that nothing brings her joy anymore.
I do not want her to go home in this state of mind can anything be done to give her HOPE.
Thank you and God Bless you for some heavenly help.
December 4, 2015
Thank you for your question.
I am so sorry to hear that your sister is in such a poor state of physical and mental health. It is always really difficult to look upon those we love and feel unable to help them in their time of need.
I feel your sister is withdrawing from everyone as it is her way of managing what is happening to her. You and I both know that there are probably more nurturing and kinder ways to do this. But it seems she has decided this is the best she can do to cope with her predicament. People do some very unpredictable things when they aren’t coping with reality and the truth of what may lay ahead. Sadly many people fear death and lose their faith during their lives, often at times when deepening their faith would be the most beneficial thing to do. Those that lose faith and withdraw feel they are justified in their actions, mostly because they feel they have been hurt badly during their life.
And your dear sister is sadly no exception. Her fear and loss of faith is not new, it feels she has felt this way for a long time. At the moment it is just more obvious as she unable to face some of the biggest challenges of her life right now.
Finding resolution and making peace is a very difficult thing for her to do, as giving up that level of control would require her to be vulnerable, compassionate and forgiving to self and others.
I sense that your sister has at times found life to be very difficult. Although her pain and hurt may not have always been evident, It does feel that her loss of faith and crippling fears have developed over time as a reaction to being hurt and feeling abandoned by God.
I am probably not telling you anything you don’t already know, but by speaking openly about your sister’s life and her struggles either with her or amongst other compassionate family members, will be very helpful. Any conversations about her past will help her to let go of hurt feelings and memories of traumatic events on a subtle level.
Everyone needs to confess, and illness should help us to realise that those things we have held onto have a chance to be finally let go of.
When anyone chooses to surrender their suffering; fear and our perception of pain changes; as our faith and trust in life is renewed and the inevitability of our death is finally accepted.
Naturally I know this is what you want for your sister, and although I feel you may not witness your sister’s release; whatever you do to be her voice for how she has suffered during her life, will support her on many levels. More than you can imagine.
It is also important to be mindful that everyone’s perception of suffering is vastly different. For example you may perceive your sister has had a good life, but she may feel completely different. Acknowledging what was real for her is what is important at this time.
If other family members do not wish to discuss such personal issues, then you can write everything down on her behalf; acting as a voice for her hurt and struggles is such a healing thing to do.
Naturally I can assume you are already praying for her wellbeing and for God’s support. I strongly advise you to keep praying, especially for her willingness to let go of fear and for her to eventually find peace. Once again you may not witness these things happening, but our prayers are not just about now, but also for the future happiness of those we love.
I also wish to reassure you that even though she may not change before something more serious happens to her declining health; the Angels wish to remind you; they are constantly and consistently working with her, particularly when she is sleeping.
And that regardless of what happens, your sister is a child of the Divine, therefore she is not alone, nor will she be for the remainder of her life, in death and in her transition when her time comes pass.
I hope this has offered you some support, if you require further help please do not hesitate to ask.