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Dear Claire, I am currently plagued with doubts; mainly on how much energy, both financial and emotional/mental; I am currently spending on (and have...
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I felt moved to ask you a question because years ago you said I should write, and it is the one thing I have carried with me in my life and I know to be true deep in my soul (strange but true!). I lacked confidence then and was also too poorly. However, since I have moved states, writing kind of came to me out of the blue - it found me rather than me finding it. I have my own arts column and write for regional papers and have been involved in arts and other projects. And now I am crazily writing my first book that you said one day I would write. I initially thought it would be a self-help book. But my first book is... ta da... a garlic cookbook - of all things!!! Yes don’t faint - it was my idea after being involved in a garlic festival and felt right; though it's also about our community and not just a simple recipe book.
That said, since starting it, I have come down with a few health issues including the worst flu I have had in years. Right at a time I am meant to be meeting deadlines. Whereas at first, it felt right, I am now wondering whether this is meant to be my first book - I don't know? I always believe things flow if they are meant to be, but maybe that is naive? Perhaps I am putting blockages in my own way? Things do in many respects seem to be coming together slowly. But because this will involve investing a lot of personal money, being ill has given me the wobblies and doubt is creeping in - I won't lie. I love your honesty Claire and if this garlic cookbook will be a financial disaster for me, I know you will tell me. It'
s not too late to pull out! In many respects I feel it is meant to be and will be wonderful despite blips. BUT is this the book Claire?
August 11, 2015
Thank you for your question.
Firstly, congratulations for taking those first steps into to the world of writing and publishing, it takes a lot of courage. And I am quite convinced as a budding writer myself that, in fact, writing in whatever form it takes is only for the brave hearted and for those of us who are willing to be challenged at a very deep emotional level.
I am sorry to hear that you have been unwell, however your illness is a part of the recipe as you birth the writer from within. Yes you may wonder why on earth you would create such a debilitating flu. But try and be compassionate toward self, as writing does seem to dig up lots of emotional pain and often the physical body only seems to be able to process the intensity of that pain through illness.
In your case I really feel your flu has been trying to assist you to let go of your feelings of unworthiness. Yes, that old chestnut. But please trust me when I sa,y you are not alone in that, as everyone experiences those feelings, especially when stepping out into unknown territory.
Apart from continuing to write your book, try to consciously work with your feelings of unworthiness. As you know, hurt can sabotage progress. And it would be very sad if you gave up on your idea, because it feels really good to have a cookbook, which involves your local community as well. Further, from a marketing viewpoint it could really help with tourism.
As your unworthiness shifts, your faith in the project will deepen and your newfound confidence will help to get the project completed with the same sense of magic that ignited the idea in the first place.
So please don’t give up.
The Angels are also saying this will not be the first book you will write, however you will need some time to finish this one and launch it, which is also a huge process. You will also find your way towards other ideas for books through the many different circumstances you experience in everyday life. Basically, you will happen upon other ideas unexpectedly and somehow all things will align for you to create stories around that. All you have to do is learn to trust in the organic nature of your creativity and when you're not being creative in some form or another, remind yourself to keep reconnecting to it as much as is possible.
You, like many creative people, can become quite depressed when not expressing your creativity. Generally speaking creative people can also become very fearful about their survival and their place in the world. Which naturally can lead to self-doubt, sabotage and unworthiness.
The Angels wish you well in this writing project and also want to remind you about really opening up your imagination about how you can sell your book. It seems imagination is your key to successful marketing and in having a bountiful number of sales. Everything you imagine can become a reality. Trust, and keep working with your unworthiness and you will definitely create success in the marketplace.
And make sure you get a good distributor.
I wish you well with your project and look forward to hearing about your other writing projects in the future.