Sometimes I feel on track in my life and in tune with a greater plan and sense of the Divine working
Thank you for your question.
There are quite a few aspects to this question so bare with me as I move through the layers to answer it.
Firstly, your soul desired to experience physical life, which suggests that by being in human life at this time is already the right path for you to be on.
Are you learning what you have come here to learn - yes but you may need a little help in truly knowing what that learning is.
You are here to understand patience/stillness, compassion for self and to let go of the concept of failure.
To do those things, you will require to have more tolerance of any mistakes you perceive you have made, that you have not failed yourself or anyone else. Additionally, you will require to be kind to self about all the many experiences you have had during your life that you feel overly responsible for. I know that it is a lot to do and you will probably need the whole of your life to master it.
But everyday can feel that much lighter with this level of mindfulness.
It can also be assisted by working out why it is difficult for you to feel really in your body. We don’t feel it is because you lack courage or are even afraid of feeling pain; it seems that part of your essence/spirit has not yet fully incarnated into your physicality.
There is hesitation; as if your spirit is still waiting for the perfect moment to enter.
It seems the difficult circumstances of your birth and childhood, disturbed the incarnation of the fullness of your spirit. And without sounding matter of fact, it just didn’t seem like a good place or time for your spirit to fully enter.
Many live their lives well but are not necessarily fully in their bodies. But that is not how it is meant to be for you. Deep inside, you feel that you need to be fully present to action the life you wish to live.
The Angels are suggesting that you investigate and heal the wounding that occurred at the time of your birth and shortly afterwards. This was a critical time particularly for you, but as you can imagine it is for any newborn baby. You may need professional support to locate the wounding and to teach you techniques on how to retrieve the baby from underneath the heavy burdens she is carrying.
The Angels feel you will do this well, you just need to surrender and let go of any fear you have about change. Change is positive, as it indicates that you are attempting to develop personally and spiritually in a conscious manner.
The other thing you may also need professional support with; is to help you retrieve that part of your spirit that is hesitating to fully enter into your physical, emotional and spiritual life. The Angels feel that this can also happen gracefully. As they know you have such a willing heart to make things better for self and for all those you share your life with.
You would probably need to consult a spiritual healer for the retrieval.
Once these processes are underway and you feel recovered emotionally from the experiences, the part of your spirit that felt missing will want to engage in some activity of a creative nature as a means of grounding into your body.
All you have to is trust that the nature of your spirit knows exactly what’s she needs to do to continue to develop a relationship with you. And in time, when you are more at ease, together you will engage more openly with the community of loved ones you live life with and share your gifts with the world.
I hope this has answered your question.
Love and Blessings,