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My question is very personal and possibly selfish... I am really stuck as to what the next step in my journey is. I have 2 adorable children whom I love intensely. However I would love to have another but the mothering journey so far hasn't been that easy. My second child's birth was very traumatic and I was depressed and anxious for about 3 years after. I really would love another child but I'm not sure it's the right thing for my husband or children. My husband would have another for me but I think he'd prefer not to as he is older and his work is pretty stressful. However I cannot shake this need to have another child - I always thought I'd have 3 or 4 kids and really don't feel done with 2. As you can see I am really confused. In a perfect world I'd have more kids but it's not all about my desires and me.
I hope the above makes sense.
June 11, 2015
Thank you for your question.
I can feel the spirit or soul of another child in your Auric field and perhaps your motherly instinct has tuned into the energy of this little one.
You may ask - does that mean just because a soul is present; is it your responsibility to physicalise that soul into life?
It is not the only option as you have many. You don’t have to go forth with another pregnancy and you need to trust that nothing terrible will happen to the soul as a consequence of your decision.
However if you decide not to, it is important to communicate your intentions to the soul in waiting so it can move on and experience re-birth at another time. Perhaps a ritual would also be helpful to honor your grief and to help you let go of your longing, this will also support the onward journey of the soul in waiting.
When you open up this space and release the soul in wait, this will free you up for developing some of your personal unrealized potential in other areas of your life.
For although parenting is such an important part of your personal and spiritual development you are also here to express yourself as an individual with passion and purpose.
I guess the point I am trying to make is that if you were to decide not to have another child and process your grief it would be sad to think that the potential of new life could not be expressed in another way.
If you decide to go ahead with having another child; although this would be a happy event and help you to open your heart to allowing more love in your life, it would also be very stressful to your nervous system. It is not that others around wouldn’t cope, because they would adjust, but as your life becomes fuller it may throw you into further feelings of depression and abandonment. If you were to have another child I would strongly recommend to do some further healing on your nervous system, and continue to sort through some of the complexities of feelings that resulted after the birth of your second child, prior to getting pregnant. This will help you once the baby arrives to feel less overwhelmed by either the birth or the feelings that rise-up as a result of having such an intense experience. Preparing your body physically, emotionally and mentally prior to any event can’t control all outcomes, however it does place you in a more balanced and stable position should things become a little overwhelming.
I am not sure I have helped you in your decision making process, but I feel it is good to acknowledge that your Motherly instinct is in tune with what is going on energetically. Just as the mother in you also knows what the right path is to follow.
Please take the time to do some more soul searching, digging deeply into your heart so that the pathway becomes clear and you will know exactly the right course of action to take.
The angels are also asking me to remind you of some of the other visions that you had about your life’s direction and purpose. Everything you desire can be manifested however it is important for you to be mindful in your decision making and to ask for the nurturing you need to support those decisions.