Thank you for the offer of answering my question. It is: "I am desiring to meet a beloved – a m
Thank-you for your question
Matters of the heart are both painful and beautiful. I can feel your longing for a beloved, and also your inner angst at the fear of never meeting him.
I won’t tell you to be patient because you have the right to feel impatient about wondering where he is and ask why he hasn’t shown-up yet. I can also feel that you have done a lot of personal development on issues of intimacy, re-building self-worth and also your confidence.
So as I continue to tune in I can see there are several significant things that are blocking you from meeting your mate. Firstly on an energy level there is a thick layer of fear energy contained within your aura very close to your physical body. Your fears, although you unconsciously believe they are protecting you from further hurt, are also preventing the prospect of someone new entering your reality. I can also see a small ‘hole’ in the layers of fear, however as it is tinged with resignation, it is possible because the ‘hole’ is big enough it could allow a person to enter your life that would be similar to some of your past experiences with men and trigger old issues of rejection. (Sorry it is not always easy to explain what fear energy looks like and the affect it has upon a person.)
It is important to work with your need to be over-protective of your heart, and resolving the resignation you have about the inevitability of only meeting a lover that will in time reject you. Neither issue is healthy, as they can create long-term feelings of emptiness, loneliness and unworthiness. You definitely deserve more abundance not less in matters of the heart.
The other thing I am observing is because you have felt the need to over-protect yourself from hurt you have also created a rather rigid idea of what your future mate has to be like in order for you feel safe. Although there is nothing fundamentally wrong with creating a picture of the qualities you expect in a mate. There is a fine line between what you want and being unrealistic about how perfect this person has to be in order to be a part of your life.
It is important to be mindful that he will have flaws, he will make mistakes, he will annoy you at times, he may even be lazy on occasion, and it is likely that he won’t have worked on all of his emotional issues. He may be shorter or taller, or have 5 children from a previous relationship or want five children with you. I know that this is delicate subject to be talking about, but it feels really important for you to not limit yourself in what you think is your type of mate.
The most important qualities to hope for in any future mate is that he is kind, affectionate, loyal, willing to work with you through the challenges and there will be many, and that he has the maturity to own his stuff and not blame you for his mistakes. And naturally that he thinks you’re very hot and very sexy, and takes lots of opportunity to demonstrate his attraction to you.
In my experience as a metaphysical counselor I have found that only the Divine can decide what is best for our human experience of relationship. Therefore you will find that any long-term relationship is very much about your personal growth and spiritual development. It is about commitment and loyalty, a desire to be present and for the expansion of the heart and soul. And as each person within a committed relationship often shows up with flaws, a truly loving relationship can help heal those flaws and move onto to the next stage of learning together.
I can also ‘see’ that you are actually very shy when it comes to the opposite sex, especially those you find attractive, and unfortunately lots of people can interpret shyness as unavailability and self-sufficiency. A man is unlikely to push past their initial feelings of you being unavailable or your lack of appearing to need him.
So although you cannot necessarily change your shyness as it is at the core of your personality, you can change the energy that says you’re unavailable and overly self-sufficient. Simply by intending it not to be there, and that the true feelings of being shy- and feeling vulnerable around men that you find attractive to be present. Shyness and or vulnerability are feelings you should not feel ashamed of, as it is perfectly okay to have them, besides they do not have to preclude friendliness, being present or the genuine interest you can show in another.
The Angels are encouraging you to work with these issues as they are obstacles on your pathway to meeting someone, and that someone is indeed close at hand. It is not that you will miss out, because that is not how Divine flow works. However when the time comes to meet your mate, it can be more fluid and be with more ease and joy if you are less guarded and more open to the infinite possibilities of the qualities your significant other may have.
Much love and many heartfelt blessings - all will be well!