Dear Claire, I am a singer and performing is my actual job, and I am getting so much joy from it. I
Thank you for your question.
You are definitely on the right path - so please don’t give-up.
At the moment I feel you need to push through you’re hurt and continue to play with the band you are presently playing with. Your hurt feelings, although at the time felt justified they now need to be put to one side, then you can all keep moving forward and become more successful.
This does not necessarily involve huge discussions; sometimes a simple shift of emotions can create a huge shift of old and stuck energies.
The only hesitation I have at recommending you only perform as a soloist is that it can be a bit of a lonely journey. However I do feel that by the beginning of next year things will have changed either within the group you are working with, or another opportunity will open up, or both.
I understand that you are a purist and want to be able to trust in the creative process to guide you through life. And I truly appreciate your spirit for wanting to achieve the ideal way of being for you. There is absolutely nothing wrong in wanting to live by your gut instinct.
I can feel your ‘inner fairy’ desperately trying to create that level of freedom in a world that is ultimately very controlling.
However to be able to live within a paradigm of having absolute faith in your instincts, things need to be more sustainable on an emotional level. The downside of being human is it is not always easy to sustain ones faith or not be affected emotionally when facing human dilemmas.
It certainly doesn’t mean that you won’t achieve absolute freedom during the course of your life, so please do not be disheartened. You are young and have plenty of time to learn to trust in your instinctual nature. Also in time you will find a way for your ‘inner fairy’ to be more of an equal and sustainable part of your human journey.
In matters of the heart, your ‘inner fairy’- has a huge capacity for love, which in essence is absolutely beautiful.
However the difficultly your fairy has with love is that others do not necessarily have the same level of enthusiasm or the same capacity to love openly and so immediately. Most people need more time, and although this saddens me to have to say this, you need to keep the heart of the Fairy in check when encountering new relationships or friendships. The best place for the fairy to shine is through your music; she can help you restore your sense of magic, creativity and the sheer joy of performing. Once you can define the roles of your adult –self and your ‘inner fairy’ there will be greater harmony.
I certainly do not want you to become cynical, because that is not the purpose. The purpose is to create balance, and also inner and outer boundaries.
The Angels are also saying to ponder the word discernment, really give this word and its meaning a lot of thought. Once you feel you fully understand the meaning, then think about how you can be more discerning when it comes to relationships and how quickly or cautiously you need to be before getting involved in the early stages of their development.
It feels when you master discernment it will create cautiousness without the cynicism. Plus it protects the softer, almost naïve part (the Fairy self) from becoming damaged and losing her creative expression.
And finally in regards to meeting a beloved, it will happen!
However the inner work that I am suggesting that you do will actually help you become much clearer about the type of relationship you want and how you wish to be honored in that relationship. Once again it is about having better boundaries and a guarded willingness to be intimate with that someone whom you have complete trust in.
As I said before your capacity to love is enormous, but your love should only be shared with someone who absolutely gets you and appreciates your gentle spirit, and the potential joy and freedom that your ‘inner fairy’ wishes to create in this lifetime.
Much love to you.
If you need further assistance then please refer to my website for private sessions details- www.claireswinney.com.au